Fault…

Posted: June 12, 2020 in Uncategorized
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Realising it was you all along is a right bastard.  

As Vicky sipped the dregs of her flat beer, her balled up knickers stuffed into her skinny blue jeans, she had run out of excuses.  

“He had a problem…”

“He was threatened by my success…”

“I was too horny for him…”

After all of the excuses had gone there was only one reason remaining…

“I was too much of a bitch and a nightmare to live with.”

The relationship had started like they all had…a touch of the arm, a smile and the guy was hooked.  Vicky had never struggled getting a bloke, she set her targets on them and she rarely missed.  A slim, brunette with olive tanned skin, she was any man’s dream and they were never disappointed.  No, getting them was easy, but keeping them was hard. Now, as she sat on the cold curb she contemplated the reason…it was his fault.  

“No Vicky, you stupid cow”  She thought to herself, “This is your fault.”

 

Jump…

Posted: April 11, 2020 in Uncategorized
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Thom teetered on the edge of the cliff staring down at the crashing waves below.   He had only one choice…if he was going to get off this island he had to jump.  The water was maybe thirty feet below, not a great distance, but he could see the waves breaking on the visible rocks, the white foam covering their jagged edges.  He knew his best chance was to jump further out to miss the base of the island and with a giant leap he threw himself off the cliff and into the sea beneath.

The water felt cold as he plunged into the frothy sea.  He had taken a huge breath and he hoped it would last him a minute or two, long enough to make them think he was dead.  

Through the muffled sounds in his water-filled ears he could hear the sound of gunfire.  They were shooting, firing randomly into the water with the hope of hitting him.  It had been nearly a minute and Thom could feel his lungs emptying and the longing to breathe overwhelming him.  But they were still firing, he couldn’t risk coming to the surface.  Every muscle in his body began to convulse as his muscles filled with adrenaline, his body fighting for survival.   His chest ached and he could feel water slowly entering his mouth and slipping down his throat.  As he writhed about in the water, with his body suffocating and his brain shutting down, Thom battled to focus his mind.  He had to keep control of his body, just a few seconds more and they would be gone.  ‘Just think about home’ he told himself over and over again as the water blackened and the desire to breathe began to fade.  It was over.  His body no longer thrashed and a warm swathe of dizzy relaxation washed over him.  Thom gently closed his eyes and the blackness consumed him, the sound of gunfire disappearing gently into the distance.   

The girl…

Posted: April 9, 2020 in Uncategorized
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In one smooth motion she leapt onto Mac’s back, wrapped her legs around his waist and dug her fingers into his large neck.   With her other hand she grabbed onto his bicep and pulled as hard as she could to try to get him to drop the gun.  Mac tried to shrug the woman from his back, thrashing about in numerous directions to move her into a position to grab her but her grip was too strong.  No matter how many times he reached round for her he couldn’t touch her.  She knew that she was no more than an annoyance to him and he would get her off eventually, but if only she could give Thom some time.  

Her efforts were short-lived.  A single gunshot echoed through the island and Thom saw the woman gently slide to the ground and lay crumpled on the floor.  Her blonde hair was matted with sweat and covered her small, tanned face.   She was just a girl barely older than himself, sixteen at the most.  Thom stared at her face; not a flicker of life ran through it and her eyes were closed.  Reilly stood a few feet behind her with his gun still outstretched as he looked at the twisted body of the girl, her blood escaping from her side and pooling on the dusty soil below.   He could not see her face but Thom could and her features mesmerised him.  

He knew her; he’d seen her before but as a small child.  Images rushed into his mind of her playing on a garden swing; chasing after him as he crawled into the sea; a birthday party, his?  Each one came quicker than the last till all he could see was a blur of flickering pictures like an old fashioned flip book of familiar but forgotten faces.  He was so engrossed it took him a moment to realise she was staring straight at him, her blue eyes, once closed were suddenly bright and alert.  “They won’t kill you, they need you alive but you have to get away,” he heard her say but her face remained motionless, not a single movement from her mouth or throat could be seen.   “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be ok.  You know what you have to do Thom.”   And her eyes gently shut once more as she returned to her lifeless state.  

The Graveyard…

Posted: April 8, 2020 in Uncategorized
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“No!”  The small figure stirred through a drug induced sedation.  They had to try, they had to warn him.

The abandoned graveyard,  balanced on top of a tall column of rock, emerged from the sea like a giant mushroom.  It was nightfall; reflections of the sunset covered the surface of the water, rippling with the gentle breeze of the warm summer evening.  Long since visited, the graveyard had become an overgrown entanglement of creeping vines and brambles with the graves left forgotten by all but the insects that lived within.  All except one; it stood encircled by a ring of freshly cut grass and beautiful blue roses that wrapped around the carefully carved headstone.  As the boy breathed in deeply the smell of grass made his nose tingle.  

Is this the biggest mistake I’ve ever made?

That was what Sarah contemplated as she stared at the faint light of the distant streetlight creeping through her curtains. It wasn’t unusual for her to be awake in the middle of the night, she was very used to the sleepless curse. Anyone who says they were ‘up all night’ or ‘didn’t get a wink of sleep’ hasn’t felt the hand of insomnia because, when you actually stay awake all night it’s a very different thing. The average work day is 8 hours and that seems long, right? Now imagine spending those 8 hours on your own whilst the rest of the world sleeps? It feels 4 times longer. Those people who moan probably are awake for 20 minutes, half an hour in reality because, when you actually stay awake all night you damn well know about it.

The worst part was the dreams. Not nice dreams about fluffy unicorns or rainbows; she just guessed this was what other people dreamt about having never experienced such normality. No, these were terrible flashes that crossed her eyes every time her body began to give in to sleep. Images of faces sweeping towards her; a car smashing into yours. You feel your body lurch as it forces you back awake, your body shaking with Adrenalin and fear. This goes on for hours and hours till you realise it’s time for your alarm clock to go off and you resign yourself to another day of caffeine fuelled hell.

There was usually a reason and Sarah knew exactly what had revived her insomnia…it was him.

The moment you decide to kill is not what you’d think. You would expect it to be born in anger, a flash of madness that overcomes you and leads you to insanity. Instead, it is a feeling of serenity. When the decision is made there is only peace; a calmness that enveloped you and allows the thinker to be finally at rest.

That was how Sarah felt as she prepared to kill, for what would be the first and last time. She knew it was wrong but, as the decision began to develop in her mind, she felt that swell of quiet composure that she had longed for.

A black cloud descends around me and the world again goes dark; colours drain and the light loses its shimmer.  I know the world is there through the obscured perspex that covers my eyes, a distorted reality just out of reach.  The storm ominously hangs around me, a dark presence pressing down on me, making it impossible to breathe and gather my chaotic thoughts.

I run…I move ahead…but the icy cold breeze bites at my exposed skin, and i can feel its grip tighten on my weakening body. I can hear it, mocking me, laughing at my actions with a callous snarl. “What do you think you are doing,” it sneers, “You can’t do that, you’re not strong enough.” until the cacophony deafens my ears with its constant attack.

There is no release, no chance of relaxation.  A never relenting barrage of darkness that consumes your soul, and everyone around you.  There is no escape because the darkness is you.

She stood silent.  The wind whipped around her, making her hair tie itself into a thousand knots but she stood…silent.  The world around ebbed and flowed in its usual chaotic manner, never stopping to take a breath as it hastened around in an endless tirade of entropy.   Caught in a whirlwind of unpredictability she had become accustomed to the overwhelming loss of control but had never tried to step away, but now it had forced her to be…silent.

 

The day had started as usual, locked in the normality of the humdrum but longing to flee.  The dark cloud followed her, walking in her shadows, never letting her escape the feeling of dread and despair that had plagued her for as long as she could remember.  Was there a beginning, she couldn’t remember but she knew there would never be an end. It followed her, watched her and twisted her thoughts into blackened images of an inverted reality until it was impossible to see the truth through the distorted lies.    

He looked at his expectant face with sorrow. Tears ran down his little face as the rain splattered against the window and flooded the patio in glistening puddles of water. The rocket ship, once a magnificent monument of papier-mâché and PVA glue, was now a twisted, soggy mess with the painstaking artwork of a five year old dripping onto the concrete.

The father sighed. The opportunity to spend a magical moment with his estranged son was ebbing away and he could hear the disappointment in the child’s voice. “It’s ok son, we’ll build another one next time you’re over. It’ll be even bigger and better than this one.”

The son shrugged. He knew that that could be weeks away but he smiled anyway. “Ok dad, we’ll make it big enough to get inside and then we can fly off to the moon.”

“Sounds great,” Dad rejoiced in the innocence of his boy. Handing him a spoon, they eagerly tucked into the ice cream and watched the lightning flash across the darkened sky.

“Do you think they have ice cream on the moon, dad?”

“Maybe, but we’ll pack some just in case.”

Seconds, maybe minutes passed. His eyes, yellow flecks swirling in grey, deep pools stared at her, burning into her mind with ever increasing intensity. Unable to to look away, her gaze unblinking and focused, like an invisible beam drawing her closer to him. Images filled her mind, his thoughts flooding into her conscious. Bad thoughts, dark thoughts, some so depraved that she felt a sickness fill her throat and she longed to look away but they were inside her head, becoming part of her.

“I can’t…” she murmured, the sound of her voice sounded distant through the cacophony of voices enveloping her. “No more…”

With a sigh he closed his eyes and her body crumpled to the dusty, dry earth.

“Never ask again, this is proof that you are not and never will be ready to know me.” He stared down at her sobbing frame and he was shrouded in sorrow. She should have been the one and if not her, who…